Of all the lies we tell, perhaps the worst ones are the ones we tell to ourselves: "It's no big deal that I'm treated this way." "I'm not a good person." "The reason that that happened to me was my fault." These corrosive lies of self-criticism, as well as the equally-imbalanced, empty lies of self-aggrandizement, "I'm better than her; our marriage is better than theirs," are ways of self-talk which set us back in our conscious and subconscious quest for authenticity.
We cannot move forward, nay, cannot even get unstuck if we don't tell the full and honest truth to ourselves, and from there, to others of value in our lives. Our narrative needs to be an unfiltered truth given unabashedly to others in order to reset the imbalances in our relationships. We fear honesty with ourselves and in our relationships because honesty is the gateway to all of our triggers. With real honesty, there is no pretense, there are no defense mechanisms, no excuses, no justifications. Real honesty is as close as possible to a universal objectivity, and for this, it can hurt badly and create great conflict. But, what many don't know is that there is incredible hope and regeneration on the other side of pain and conflict. We should not be afraid to confront the truth in ourselves and to bring it to others, because this is the only way in which we will evolve.
The truth in ourselves which needs to be released is always related to trauma of some form. This is what needs to be acknowledged and processed, the feelings about it validated and understood. We all are aware of what in us is still ineffable, still not brought to light - the wound within. Facing this trauma, agreeing to open up and feel everything that needs to be felt through honesty, is the beginning of freeing the soul.
Honesty is an act of courage which we must practice towards ourselves and others. It is easier to hide away in the shame of our traumas, finding false coping mechanisms to combat our pain, having imbalanced and false relationships based on convention. But this fear-based hiding is exactly what keeps us stuck in unhappiness, often for generations. We owe it to ourselves, our kids, and society to break the cycles of dishonesty.